The day before I left the hospital I woke up and starting crying for no apparent reason. It was such an odd feeling: my state of mind and emotional feelings were not in sync with this physical reaction. I wasn’t sad, hurt, or upset.
My husband immediately rushed to give me a hug. He kept saying: “What’s wrong? What’s wrong?” I wasn’t just tearing up but full on weeping!
I could not have answered that question to save my life. I was completely fine! I tried to put my finger on what it could be… I started saying random possible causes, none of which made any sense at that point in time.
Later that day Dr. G passed by to check on me as he did every day. He mentioned something about how around this time I might feel like crying quite often and that it was an entirely normal hormonal reaction. That explained a lot.
Of course I had heard of the infamous “Baby Blues” but to experience it was something else. It was a little surreal especially because I really couldn’t pinpoint a single reason for my crying. That would change in the following few days.
The best advice I got on how to deal with the BB came from a dear cousin who had delivered just two weeks prior to me. She said: “don’t let these thoughts settle into your head. Try to kick them out as much as you can because they are not real.” And that could not be more true.
This hormonal state we find ourselves in is almost like being under the influence of some sort of chemical. And just like you cannot think straight when you’ve had too much to drink, your thoughts are really blurred those first few days post-delivery. You’re overwhelmed with a new responsibility, a ton of things to learn on the spot, and at the same time you’re recovering from something that took a huge toll on you physically.
I remember breaking down at the sight of my post-baby body, crying about the challenge breastfeeding was in the early days, the humiliation of trying to pump for the first time, the getting used to (if ever!) sleepless nights, the feeling of inadequacy when your baby’s crying and you’re struggling to calm them down…
Soooo many things that can make you feel like you’re the opposite of happy and leave you thinking: is my life going to be this way from here on out?
I followed my cousin’s advice. I did not let those negative thoughts devastate me and that’s how I got over the Baby Blues pretty quickly. Thank you, R, I owe you so much. DON’T UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF THE MIND!