HELLO BABY… BLUES!

July 14, 2013 Leave a Comment

The day before I left the hospital I woke up and starting crying for no apparent reason. It was such an odd feeling: my state of mind and emotional feelings were not in sync with this physical reaction. I wasn’t sad, hurt, or upset.

My husband immediately rushed to give me a hug. He kept saying: “What’s wrong? What’s wrong?” I wasn’t  just tearing up but full on weeping!

I could not have answered that question to save my life. I was completely fine! I tried to put my finger on what it could be… I started saying random possible causes, none of which made any sense at that point in time.

Later that day Dr. G passed by to check on me as he did every day. He mentioned something about how around this time I might  feel like crying quite often and that it was an entirely normal hormonal reaction. That explained a lot.

Of course I had heard of the infamous “Baby Blues” but to experience it was something else. It was a little surreal especially because I really couldn’t pinpoint a single reason for my crying.  That would change in the following few days.

The best advice I got on how to deal with the BB came from a dear cousin who had delivered just two weeks prior to me. She said: “don’t let these thoughts settle into your head. Try to kick them out as much as you can because they are not real.” And that could not be more true.

This hormonal state we find ourselves in is almost like being under the influence of some sort of chemical. And just like you cannot think straight when you’ve had too much to drink, your thoughts are really blurred those first few days post-delivery. You’re overwhelmed with a new responsibility, a ton of things to learn on the spot, and at the same time you’re recovering from something that took a huge toll on you physically.

I remember breaking down at the sight of my post-baby body, crying about the challenge breastfeeding was in the early days, the humiliation of trying to pump for the first time, the getting used to (if ever!) sleepless nights, the feeling of inadequacy when your baby’s crying and you’re struggling to calm them down…

Soooo many things that can make you feel like you’re the opposite of happy and leave you thinking: is my life going to be this way from here on out?

I followed my cousin’s advice. I did not let those negative thoughts devastate me and that’s how I got over the Baby Blues pretty quickly. Thank you, R, I owe you so much. DON’T UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF THE MIND!

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THREE LITTLE LETTERS… K. F. C.

June 29, 2013 Leave a Comment

What you should know about hubby and I is that we are die hard foodies. Whenever we travel our trips revolve around what restaurants we’re going to try out. Chinese, Indian, Arabic, Thai, American, you name it; we’re up for it!

Well, my husband is the adventurous one, I’m more on the traditional side when it comes to food. I like the familiar… With an interesting twist nevertheless!

Whenever we’re feeling rather down or stressed out, we decide to essentially pig out. It’s the easiest, most effective trick in the book. And the days we’re just plain hungry, you ask? We sometimes pig out then too!

That night at the hospital, after all the family members and friends departed, there was a quiet and oh-so-peaceful moment in our room as our little one quietly slept. My husband and I looked at each other thinking how much we were enjoying this private moment amongst the three of us.

It was nice to feel we were finally finding some normality after all the hype and excitement of the past couple of days.

And what could be more normal than ordering KFC in a maternity ward? The fried chicken delivery man had paid a visit to the room next door to us earlier and well, we were inspired!

But then I had a thought. Could it be that there’s also a Mc Donald’s in the vicinity? Either way sadly they don’t deliver. Sniff! That settled it: two chicken dinner boxes for the room with the crazy fast food loving nursing mother and her husband!

It felt a little wrong to be eating something so unhealthy, especially since I was breastfeeding, but after almost nine months of doing everything so rigidly right it was nice to just let loose a little bit.

It was a cool moment to share with hubby… Being naughty in our own foodie way when everyone thought we’d be eating soup and jello for dinner!

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BABY’S FIRST VACCINATIONS… DAY 2 POST-PARTUM

June 24, 2013 Leave a Comment

By the second day after my delivery I was still struggling to get out of bed and walk beyond the short distance to the bathroom. And by struggling I mean the pain and feeling of being cut in half was vivid!

When the nurse came to take baby L to get her first vaccinations, the Hepatitis B and BCG (Tuberculosis), I was determined to be by my daughter’s side and hold her tiny little hand while they were given to her.

We had to walk to a small nursing room, which was a bit further down the hall. The walk seemed endless and I felt like a proper old lady walking so slowly and leaning on the corridor railway for support.

When we got there I undressed my little Booboo and whispered in her ear telling her not to worry and that I was going to hold her the whole time. In just a few seconds it was done. To my relief, she cried only briefly and didn’t seem to have been in a lot of pain.

It was the first time I felt like a mommy… Like I was truly needed… Of course others, especially her father, could have held her hand in my place but I felt it was my role, my responsibility to do so.

I always tell my friends that don’t have any children yet that it’s incredible how fast and how naturally maternal instinct kicks in. I do believe that like every relationship, the one you share with your baby grows and matures gradually with time, but maternal instinct just bursts out of you the minute you see your baby.

You know how to hold them, how to feed them (OK, more or less!), to dress them… And mostly you instantly realize that what they need the most is LOVE. Motherly love. The most unconditional, undivided, indestructible kind of love there is.

In my crazy hormonal pregnant days I often wondered how soon my instincts would kick in, how strongly I would feel a bond with my baby… What it’s like being a mother really! It’s just impossible to know what it feels like until you experience it and that’s probably what makes your first pregnancy such an anxiety-filled few months.

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